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What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is physical, sexual, psychological, emotional or financial abuse where the victim is or has been associated with the abuser.

Gender-based violence is violence, threats of violence or harassment arising directly or indirectly from values, beliefs or customs relating to gender or sexual orientation, female genital mutilation and forced marriage. 

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Sexual violence includes sexual exploitation, sexual harassment, or threats of violence of a sexual nature. 

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It is important to note that emotional abuse and coercive control are common within all forms of abuse. 

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Domestic abuse can happen once or as part of a pattern of abusive behaviour. It is not always physical, and can include sexual abuse, threats, control and coercion and psychological or emotional abuse.
Domestic abuse can affect people in a range of relationships from people who are married to intimate partners, family members and ex-partners. Children affected by domestic abuse are victims in their own right, regardless of whether they were present during incidents of abuse.

Domestic abuse can, and does, happen to anyone in our society, regardless of background.

Further information can be found on the Welsh Government Website.

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What counts as abusive behaviour?

 

Coercive control is a deliberate pattern of behavior used to harm, punish, or frighten a person. While it may not leave physical scars, it deeply undermines a person's sense of self and safety. This behavior is a criminal offense. 

 

Common examples include:

  • Monitoring daily life, such as dictating what to wear, eat, or when to sleep

  • Restricting access to money or tracking spending

  • Stopping a person from seeing friends, family, or seeking professional help

  • Checking phone calls, emails, or social media activity

  • Using children as a tool for control, such as threatening to take them away

  • Threatening to harm pets or assistance animals

  • Using someone's immigration status as a way to threaten or silence them

  • Withholding or forcing medication and limiting access to healthcare

Economic abuse is behavior that restricts a person's ability to be financially independent. It involves controlling how money is earned, spent, or saved to keep someone trapped. Abuse can be quiet and hidden, such as:

  • Taking out debt in another person's name without their knowledge

  • Taking child benefits or withholding money for essentials like food and bills

  • Limiting access to the internet, phone services, or transport

  • Interfering with work or education by hiding keys, making someone late, or causing injuries so they cannot attend

  • Forcing someone to work or preventing them from going to training

  • By controlling resources, the person using abuse makes it much harder for someone to find safety or independence.

 

Support is available through organisations like Surviving Economic Abuse.

Emotional or psychological abuse is the persistent use of words and actions to damage a person's self-esteem and clarity. The goal is to gain power by making someone doubt their own thoughts and feelings.

This often involves:

  • Gaslighting (making someone question their reality)

  • Constants insults, name-calling, or 'jokes' that are meant to hurt

  • Ignoring someone or using the 'silent treatment' as punishment

  • Emotional blackmail and manipulation

  • Public or private humiliation and constant criticism

  • Intimidation or making threats to cause fear

  • A cycle of being very kind after being cruel to keep the person off-balance

 

These behaviors are used to make a person feel small, confused, and easier to control through fear and low self-confidence.

Harassment is a pattern of unwanted contact or behavior that makes a person feel distressed, threatened, or unsafe. It creates a hostile environment where someone feels they are constantly being watched or targeted. This can include:

 

  • Sending persistent, threatening, or abusive messages

  • Posting private, false, or humiliating information online

  • Leaving items at a person's home or workplace to show they are being monitored

  • Using public or digital spaces to intimidate and cause alarm

  • These actions are intended to disrupt a person's peace of mind and limit their freedom through fear.

So-called 'honour-based' abuse is a term used to describe violence or control motivated by the belief that a person has brought shame on their family or community. The concept of 'honour' is used as an excuse for harmful behavior. This abuse can take many forms, including:

  • Physical, emotional, and financial control

  • Forced marriage and female genital mutilation (FGM)

  • Pressure to follow strict community or faith-based rules against your will

  • Threatening abduction or relocation

 

New legal definitions and guidance are being established to better protect those at risk from these specific patterns of community-linked control.

Physical abuse happens when someone uses physical force or threats to cause pain, injury, or fear. This is not always about visible marks; it includes any intent to harm. It may involve:

  • Hitting, kicking, slapping, pushing, or biting

  • Any form of choking or strangulation

  • Using or threatening to use a weapon or throwing objects

  • Threats of violence directed at family members or loved ones

  • Depriving someone of basic needs, like sleep or food

  • Interfering with medical care, such as breaking glasses, hiding mobility aids, or withholding medicine

 

Physical abuse is often part of a wider pattern of intimidation used to maintain dominance in a relationship.

Sexual abuse includes any sexual activity or contact where full, informed consent hasn't been given. This can happen in many ways, such as:

  • Sexual assault and rape

  • Being forced or pressured into sexual acts with the partner or others

  • Sexual demands or contact that is not wanted

  • Physical harm during sex, including non-fatal strangulation

  • Removing or damaging contraception without consent (stealthing)

  • Forcing someone to watch or participate in creating pornography

  • Controlling reproductive choices, such as forcing an abortion or preventing birth control use

  • Harmful practices used with the intent of changing someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity

Stalking is a form of obsessive and fixated behavior that causes a person to feel constant fear or distress. It is often about a refusal to accept the end of a relationship or a desire to maintain control. Behaviors often include:

 

  • Following a person or turning up at their home or work uninvited

  • Repeatedly calling, texting, or emailing when unwanted

  • Using technology or GPS to track someone’s location

  • Damaging property or sending 'gifts' as a way to show they know where you are

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Stalking is dangerous and can happen both during a relationship and long after it has finished.

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